Thursday, May 31, 2012
Vision
One thing that we forget to realize is the many roles we play in life. We walk our daily lives playing multiple parts, each one crucial to our overall persona. We are employees, daughters, sons, mothers, fathers, girlfriends, boyfriends, taxpayers (unwillingly), good samaritans, consumers, neighbours and the list goes on. I myself am a daughter, loyal employee, writer, friend, wine enthusiast and my favorite role of all: the big sister.
This morning I took my little bro to get laser eye surgery. While my parents tour the Oregon coast and California sunshine state, I sipped green tea while driving to the surgeon. As we drove, Gotye's Somebody That You Used To Know came on and we belted the lyrics laughing that this song would be forever dedicated to his glasses. It's the kind of goofy you can only be with that brotherly or sisterly person in your life; blood related or not. Being the uniquely non traditional girlesque lady I am sometimes, I chose to watch this surgery when they told me they had an observation room. I figured it couldn't be any worse than the Saw movies; that was my logic. Turns out, watching someone poke at an eyeball flipped and held open with surgical appliances is quite cringe worthy. Nevertheless, he did amazing and for the first time in his life, my brother is going to see clearly without any help.
Isn't that sort of the truth about life? The same way glasses aid a person with vision problems to see clearly, some people require someone else's help to see something for what it really is. Imagine the feeling you might feel when you can see clearly on your own, without the crutch of someone or something else to guide your vision? Don't we all need vision repair in a sense, to see things from our own perspective? Perhaps like my brother needing me to get him to the surgeon is the first step in the process; just someone to help us get to a place where we can finally do it on our own.
Anyways, back to nursing duty.
Ciao
Xo
A
Monday, May 28, 2012
Can you relate?
For the majority of the past three years, I have not lived under the supervision of the comforts of living with my parents, and I feel like I wouldn't be the person I am if it wasn't for those bold moves I took, even if I was technically not ready to take them when I did. Can you relate? It makes you see beyond your immediate and most familiar surroundings; it molds you into an independent person and teaches you the true luxuries in life that go beyond Mom and Dad's home cooking and the usual daily family companionship. In just three short years I have had my own basement suite - which felt almost as if I was simply living at home and renting new parents-, lived in a Yaletown condo, and most recently had myself settled in discontentment in East Vancouver. For the bulk of the past five years, my career path has lead me to one particular neighbourhood in North Burnaby and despite my personal interest over the years in my new and cute neighbourhood boasting some fabulous European finds with a short ride into the city, I gave up on that hope in favor of pleasing my relationships instead. That ends here. I have finally taken a step towards satisfying my own appetite. Can you relate, or are you on the other side of the fence?
Remember what I have said about comfort? Well, the truth is, I feel the most uncomfortable right now than I have in the past couple years for sure. I am boiling with anticipation and my nerves about this next chapter is putting me so far out of my usual element. I occasionally have spaced out moments where anxiety erupts and I feel light-headed and in some odd way, this comforts me. Allowing myself to be completely uncomfortable is making me feel comfortable, because I know things are about to change dramatically. I can't help but be optimistic because I am sick of being the girl who is always waiting for the other shoe to drop, and a lot of us are like this. These heels are staying on my feet this time; both of them.
I subscribe to a Facebook page that has been my gold mine since the end of my East Van life, and has helped me through some moments of confusion in the months after that. I came across a very inspiring story that is something we all can relate to. My notes follow.
A few years ago, I was standing outside of an office in the Viacom building in Times Square in New York City.
My palms were sweaty and I remember feeling like I was going to throw up. I was nervous beyond belief.
You see, I had just started teaching hip-hop class at Crunch gym and, as luck would have it, a producer from MTV was a student in one of those classes.
Apparently, she thought I was pretty good and asked me to come to her office to interview for a “choreographer/producer” position on a show she was working on.
Now you have to realize something: I had NO prior dance training or experience. I was as green as you could get in the “dance/choreography” world and was operating on pure passion.
When I was invited to interview for the choreographer position, the instant thought that popped into my mind went was, “I'm not ready yet.”
I mean, c'mon!! Couldn't this opportunity show up just a wee bit later when I finally figured out what the heck I was doing?!
But like some of the BEST things in life, you can't control the timing. Amazing opportunities often present themselves way before we think we’re ready.
When I finally stepped foot into that office, I made a decision that I was going to go for it, even though no part of me felt “ready.” It was a once in a lifetime opportunity and I KNEW I'd regret it forever if I let my fear hold me back from something I truly wanted.
I went through the interview (sweaty palms and all!) and wound up getting the gig.
That ONE decision, to start before “I was ready,” was the launching off point for what became a very successful and lucrative career for me in dance and fitness. That one decision, to start before I was ready, changed everything for me.
Years later, I've seen that every successful person I know starts before they feel ready.
Think about it. I’ll bet you have proof of this in your own life. I’ll bet that some of your best decisions have come because you bypassed your fearful “I’m not ready yet” thoughts and followed your heart's desire to express your full potential.
Written by Marie Forleo.
Some of us are still on the other side of that offer and hesitate to make the change that can change our lives completely because we feel we are "not ready." In a movie I recently saw, one of the characters uttered a line that struck me. "Everyone has a destiny, but not everyone chooses to follow it." Making a big change is wildly scary to most of us. Whether it's moving across the city, or the country; leaving a long standing career to embark on your dream; or leaving people behind in hopes of finding something or someone more suited for you, it's terrifying. Trust me, I can relate... sometimes my head spins at the amount my life has changed in under a year, but I am starting to notice that it's exactly what happens to people right before something amazing happens. I have been witnessing truly brave and amazing people doing just that; allowing destiny to lead them to true and complete happiness. A 6 year relationship and engagement turned into a break-up, a new relationship and a beautiful baby and a new and happier love of her life are born in under a year. A marriage suddenly is seen in a new light after the wife's biological parents find her after 30 plus years have gone by with no attempt to contact, and suddenly a woman has a new family and a new outlook on life in six short months. Nine years of on and off again high school sweethearts with more drama than a soap opera finally take separate paths and the woman meets a new man and a baby is made in under two years, and the list goes on. These people weren't "ready" but they chose life over reason. They followed their true desires and made impeccable changes which is forever rewarding them. Stepping outside of comfort and taking leaps into what some might call insane directions, has reaped them rewards some of us will never know; all because they weren't afraid when destiny presented itself. When are you ever truly "ready"? It's when you are "not ready" that the best opportunities present themselves. Read it and weep, but it's the truth and you know it.
Ciao
xo
A
Remember what I have said about comfort? Well, the truth is, I feel the most uncomfortable right now than I have in the past couple years for sure. I am boiling with anticipation and my nerves about this next chapter is putting me so far out of my usual element. I occasionally have spaced out moments where anxiety erupts and I feel light-headed and in some odd way, this comforts me. Allowing myself to be completely uncomfortable is making me feel comfortable, because I know things are about to change dramatically. I can't help but be optimistic because I am sick of being the girl who is always waiting for the other shoe to drop, and a lot of us are like this. These heels are staying on my feet this time; both of them.
I subscribe to a Facebook page that has been my gold mine since the end of my East Van life, and has helped me through some moments of confusion in the months after that. I came across a very inspiring story that is something we all can relate to. My notes follow.
A few years ago, I was standing outside of an office in the Viacom building in Times Square in New York City.
My palms were sweaty and I remember feeling like I was going to throw up. I was nervous beyond belief.
You see, I had just started teaching hip-hop class at Crunch gym and, as luck would have it, a producer from MTV was a student in one of those classes.
Apparently, she thought I was pretty good and asked me to come to her office to interview for a “choreographer/producer” position on a show she was working on.
Now you have to realize something: I had NO prior dance training or experience. I was as green as you could get in the “dance/choreography” world and was operating on pure passion.
When I was invited to interview for the choreographer position, the instant thought that popped into my mind went was, “I'm not ready yet.”
I mean, c'mon!! Couldn't this opportunity show up just a wee bit later when I finally figured out what the heck I was doing?!
But like some of the BEST things in life, you can't control the timing. Amazing opportunities often present themselves way before we think we’re ready.
When I finally stepped foot into that office, I made a decision that I was going to go for it, even though no part of me felt “ready.” It was a once in a lifetime opportunity and I KNEW I'd regret it forever if I let my fear hold me back from something I truly wanted.
I went through the interview (sweaty palms and all!) and wound up getting the gig.
That ONE decision, to start before “I was ready,” was the launching off point for what became a very successful and lucrative career for me in dance and fitness. That one decision, to start before I was ready, changed everything for me.
Years later, I've seen that every successful person I know starts before they feel ready.
Think about it. I’ll bet you have proof of this in your own life. I’ll bet that some of your best decisions have come because you bypassed your fearful “I’m not ready yet” thoughts and followed your heart's desire to express your full potential.
Written by Marie Forleo.
Some of us are still on the other side of that offer and hesitate to make the change that can change our lives completely because we feel we are "not ready." In a movie I recently saw, one of the characters uttered a line that struck me. "Everyone has a destiny, but not everyone chooses to follow it." Making a big change is wildly scary to most of us. Whether it's moving across the city, or the country; leaving a long standing career to embark on your dream; or leaving people behind in hopes of finding something or someone more suited for you, it's terrifying. Trust me, I can relate... sometimes my head spins at the amount my life has changed in under a year, but I am starting to notice that it's exactly what happens to people right before something amazing happens. I have been witnessing truly brave and amazing people doing just that; allowing destiny to lead them to true and complete happiness. A 6 year relationship and engagement turned into a break-up, a new relationship and a beautiful baby and a new and happier love of her life are born in under a year. A marriage suddenly is seen in a new light after the wife's biological parents find her after 30 plus years have gone by with no attempt to contact, and suddenly a woman has a new family and a new outlook on life in six short months. Nine years of on and off again high school sweethearts with more drama than a soap opera finally take separate paths and the woman meets a new man and a baby is made in under two years, and the list goes on. These people weren't "ready" but they chose life over reason. They followed their true desires and made impeccable changes which is forever rewarding them. Stepping outside of comfort and taking leaps into what some might call insane directions, has reaped them rewards some of us will never know; all because they weren't afraid when destiny presented itself. When are you ever truly "ready"? It's when you are "not ready" that the best opportunities present themselves. Read it and weep, but it's the truth and you know it.
Ciao
xo
A
Saturday, May 26, 2012
Rekindling passions
8 am construction on a Saturday morning is not exactly my ideal way of being woken on my only day to sleep-in, but I suppose when in Rome, write.
I have been living a tame venture for the past couple weeks in comparison to my first fresh single months, and as I mentioned earlier, I have started playing co-ed soccer, devoting otherwise un-innocent Friday nights to the former love-of-my-life. Last night we had no subs and it was blazing hot with no breaks from the sun whatsoever. My naturally tanned skin got crazy bronzed and my legs felt like absolute jello after but I remember that euphoric feeling I used to get when sprinting across the field playing my usual striker position and it took me way back to the girl I used to be. Think about what you used to LOVE to do growing up. For some of us, those passions never died but for many, we lost track of our lives and got caught up in the other glories of adulthood and may have abandoned our former loves in the process. Whether it be painting, soccer, basketball, swimming or hell, even cross stitching if that's what floats your boat, if you used to LOVE something, but stopped doing it, try treating yourself and do it again. At the very least try to reminisce the feelings of how you felt when you were doing what you were passionate about.
As I walked across the field last night to join my team, it came over me at an overwhelming rate. I used to do this four times a week! In high school I was a full out athlete. I played soccer on two teams, swam, and was a point guard in basketball all throughout high school and even though I am committed to my fitness religion, I forgot the conditioning ones body experiences through competitive sport. Every one of my senses was heightened. The feel of the turf beneath my cleats, the smell of the sweat, the huffs and puffs on the field, and oh yes, the sound of the boys cursing at each other while the female players laughed at the hot heads under our breath. Ha ha. Good times. Truth be told, it didn't feel like I had played soccer for 17 years prior because I did what most of us do, I let my passion die in favor of other things and lost the condition my body used to be in. I used to be chiseled, and now I have to build up my endurance again but just like any other dead passions, you can get back to where you were before, if you commit. The former love of my life, the game that used to detox and cleanse my spirit is reawakening something in me to remind me of who I used to be before life started to get complicated. Each one of us has something like this in our life we can relate to, and my advice is to re-ignite that flame for yourself. Take a walk down memory lane and do whatever it is that used to light your spirit. Seriously.
Ciao
xo
A
I have been living a tame venture for the past couple weeks in comparison to my first fresh single months, and as I mentioned earlier, I have started playing co-ed soccer, devoting otherwise un-innocent Friday nights to the former love-of-my-life. Last night we had no subs and it was blazing hot with no breaks from the sun whatsoever. My naturally tanned skin got crazy bronzed and my legs felt like absolute jello after but I remember that euphoric feeling I used to get when sprinting across the field playing my usual striker position and it took me way back to the girl I used to be. Think about what you used to LOVE to do growing up. For some of us, those passions never died but for many, we lost track of our lives and got caught up in the other glories of adulthood and may have abandoned our former loves in the process. Whether it be painting, soccer, basketball, swimming or hell, even cross stitching if that's what floats your boat, if you used to LOVE something, but stopped doing it, try treating yourself and do it again. At the very least try to reminisce the feelings of how you felt when you were doing what you were passionate about.
As I walked across the field last night to join my team, it came over me at an overwhelming rate. I used to do this four times a week! In high school I was a full out athlete. I played soccer on two teams, swam, and was a point guard in basketball all throughout high school and even though I am committed to my fitness religion, I forgot the conditioning ones body experiences through competitive sport. Every one of my senses was heightened. The feel of the turf beneath my cleats, the smell of the sweat, the huffs and puffs on the field, and oh yes, the sound of the boys cursing at each other while the female players laughed at the hot heads under our breath. Ha ha. Good times. Truth be told, it didn't feel like I had played soccer for 17 years prior because I did what most of us do, I let my passion die in favor of other things and lost the condition my body used to be in. I used to be chiseled, and now I have to build up my endurance again but just like any other dead passions, you can get back to where you were before, if you commit. The former love of my life, the game that used to detox and cleanse my spirit is reawakening something in me to remind me of who I used to be before life started to get complicated. Each one of us has something like this in our life we can relate to, and my advice is to re-ignite that flame for yourself. Take a walk down memory lane and do whatever it is that used to light your spirit. Seriously.
Ciao
xo
A
Thursday, May 24, 2012
Soul Music
It's funny how we often wake up with feelings of haste. Our conscious thoughts from the day are silenced throughout the night and are replaced by our unconscious thoughts, the ones we bury in the back of our mind. Sometimes dreaming about the things we block out with our conscious mind can trigger emotions when we wake that we had thought we had conquered. Sometimes we follow these feelings with hasty actions, or thoughts that can trigger actions that are defeating. The morning is possibly the worst time to engage in any sort of sensitive subjects, because our mind hasn't had the time to adjust and control what we say.
I get this feeling from time to time. I feel like dreams are an insight, but sometimes it's the insight you do not wish to see or think about until your mind has worked through what it needs to consciously. Not long ago, I would have sent that message, but instead I did what I do best, I put my iPod on shuffle and I let the music guide me back to reality, and I came across a song at random that I have never heard before that was pretty fitting for the situation. Don't laugh, but it's by NSync. Ha ha. I love my old school boy bands and lets face it, JT is a damn S-T-U-D.
I guess the point I'm trying to make is that we all wake up and feel hasty from time to time, and if you act on that haste, you will get the ball rolling for an annoying and frustrating day and also, depending on your level of bitterness, you could cause a problem that will last days or weeks to come, so do nothing. Pour your cup-O-java and chill! Listen to some tunes, or get a good workout in. You'll get over it. I am totally over it now. PS- This blog brought to you while riding the Nazi spin bike.Who says busy women aren't good at multi-tasking? Ha! Love my morning spins! RAWRRR! I feel much better now :)
Music of My Heart - Lyric snippet
You'll never know
What you've done for me
What your faith in me
Has done for my soul...
You'll never know
The gift you've given me..
I'll carry it with me
Through the days ahead
I think of days before
You made me hope for something better
And made me reach for something more
You taught me to run
You taught me to fly
Helped me to free the me inside
Help me hear the music of my heart
Help me hear the music of my heart
You've opened my eyes
You've opened the door
To something I've never known before
And your love...
Is the music of my heart..
Ahh so good. And the silence of my inner thoughts continues... mystery loves company :P
Ciao
xoxoxoxoxoxo
A
I get this feeling from time to time. I feel like dreams are an insight, but sometimes it's the insight you do not wish to see or think about until your mind has worked through what it needs to consciously. Not long ago, I would have sent that message, but instead I did what I do best, I put my iPod on shuffle and I let the music guide me back to reality, and I came across a song at random that I have never heard before that was pretty fitting for the situation. Don't laugh, but it's by NSync. Ha ha. I love my old school boy bands and lets face it, JT is a damn S-T-U-D.
I guess the point I'm trying to make is that we all wake up and feel hasty from time to time, and if you act on that haste, you will get the ball rolling for an annoying and frustrating day and also, depending on your level of bitterness, you could cause a problem that will last days or weeks to come, so do nothing. Pour your cup-O-java and chill! Listen to some tunes, or get a good workout in. You'll get over it. I am totally over it now. PS- This blog brought to you while riding the Nazi spin bike.Who says busy women aren't good at multi-tasking? Ha! Love my morning spins! RAWRRR! I feel much better now :)
Music of My Heart - Lyric snippet
You'll never know
What you've done for me
What your faith in me
Has done for my soul...
You'll never know
The gift you've given me..
I'll carry it with me
Through the days ahead
I think of days before
You made me hope for something better
And made me reach for something more
You taught me to run
You taught me to fly
Helped me to free the me inside
Help me hear the music of my heart
Help me hear the music of my heart
You've opened my eyes
You've opened the door
To something I've never known before
And your love...
Is the music of my heart..
Ahh so good. And the silence of my inner thoughts continues... mystery loves company :P
Ciao
xoxoxoxoxoxo
A
Wednesday, May 23, 2012
Humility
To be humble is to possess the internal knowledge of one's own self worth without boasting so harshly and overtly in a manner that could become offensive. Humility is a dying quality, and has been replaced with insecurities or the opposing spectrum, selfishness. What ever happened to humility and actions that spoke louder than words? It seems as if now, it's just words. Words through a text message, words through a tweet, words in a status update and the action of physical human interaction and embrace has gone from slim to none. These words we communicate through the modern channels we now use make it hard to recognize humility or any other dying qualities, and that's the jest of it; humble actions and great qualities such as appreciation, honesty, and loyalty are no longer so simple in our generation.
The other day I had a thought. The next generation of business will be undertaken by us. Ten years ago you would have been fired for text messaging throughout the day, or surfing the web but now we get away with it everyday; it has become an accepted part of human nature. What does that tell you? Old fashion traits and routines are often the glue that keeps things flowing in a safe and consistent manner but we are throwing these habits out the window and replacing them with just plain bad manners. It's much easier to leak insider information now, easier to hack systems, easier to lie, easier to cheat, and easier to avoid things that you shouldn't based on the fact that an electronic device controls the very way we live. On one hand, I love that I can keep in touch with so many people with my busy busy schedule, but it has it's disadvantages as well in my opinion. Maybe you agree, maybe you don't, either way you are being controlled the same way I am and it does change the person you are over time. Believe me, you wouldn't be able to lie to someones face the same way you can through a text, am I right?
Swallow your pride, be humble, and try to act like an original human from time to time. Some old fashioned habits are better than the evolved version.
Early meeting time. Yawnnnnnnn!
Ciao
xo
A
The other day I had a thought. The next generation of business will be undertaken by us. Ten years ago you would have been fired for text messaging throughout the day, or surfing the web but now we get away with it everyday; it has become an accepted part of human nature. What does that tell you? Old fashion traits and routines are often the glue that keeps things flowing in a safe and consistent manner but we are throwing these habits out the window and replacing them with just plain bad manners. It's much easier to leak insider information now, easier to hack systems, easier to lie, easier to cheat, and easier to avoid things that you shouldn't based on the fact that an electronic device controls the very way we live. On one hand, I love that I can keep in touch with so many people with my busy busy schedule, but it has it's disadvantages as well in my opinion. Maybe you agree, maybe you don't, either way you are being controlled the same way I am and it does change the person you are over time. Believe me, you wouldn't be able to lie to someones face the same way you can through a text, am I right?
Swallow your pride, be humble, and try to act like an original human from time to time. Some old fashioned habits are better than the evolved version.
Early meeting time. Yawnnnnnnn!
Ciao
xo
A
Sunday, May 20, 2012
Hot Dogs
It's been an exhausting, yet productive week. One which desperately needed to end with some long weekend enjoyment and what better way for a few ladies to celebrate than with a big barn converted into a saloon hosting one of the best local country parties of the year, the Cloverdale Rodeo. After signing my lease yesterday morning and officially committing myself to a new neighborhood, and therefore new adventures, I dusted off my suede boots, and went out for a much needed night of raw fun.
Sometimes the excitement, and anxiety of the anticipation of everything changing can cloud our better judgments but for some reason, last night I felt overly compelled to test the waters and dip into some much needed flirtation and therefore let the walls come down. The dating world has either gone extremely downhill in my year and half of non exposure, or I am just seeing things from a new perspective. Here we go, dating philosophy by Andrea...
So being that I have a lot of male friends, grew up with a brother and no sisters, and have a mind constantly in the gutter, I get a lot of uncensored male insight. Between writing about relationships, co-hosting a show about it, and living my own life, I have come to notice many things. Us opposing genders are in a constant battle of understanding each other and our often bizarre behaviors and so we complain. Yes, as females we have an entire section in the Chapters bookstore dedicated to our frustrations with techniques on how to work through them but the fellas are not so perfect either. In fact, most at this age complain a total contradiction to their actions. You know the rant: "I just want a good woman with a great head on her shoulders. I want a woman who is independent. I want a woman who can take care of herself, a lady in the living room and a whore in the bedroom, a woman who has strong family values, is good-looking but doesn't overdo it" and the list goes on. Yet in simple observation in a barn full of potential and many of these women they claim to long for, these so called "real woman" seeking men seem to dive in head first into an open set of legs instead. It's like dangling a sirloin steak in front of a hungry man and he starts walking towards it but then a stale hot dog falls from the sky and he goes for that instead because it's closer and easier to get. He forgets that he wanted the steak, he just knows that he's hungry and wants meat and so he settles for the closest and easiest meat he can get. And that's men in a nutshell these days. No regard for anything but satisfying their own immediate appetite. Then the girl gets boring, or goes crazy, or becomes the nagging woman he never wanted, and then he proclaims his original statement of wanting a real woman and history repeats. This is why I am off the market. I'm not interested in competing with a hot-dog. I choose myself over that situation any day. You make the bed you lay in, so either deal with the choices you have made, or stop choosing wrong.
Single? No, I am just in a relationship with freedom. And that means I will tell it like it is. When I'm ready, I'll feel it but I'm just not there yet. There you go; raw emotion.
Ciao
xo
A
Sometimes the excitement, and anxiety of the anticipation of everything changing can cloud our better judgments but for some reason, last night I felt overly compelled to test the waters and dip into some much needed flirtation and therefore let the walls come down. The dating world has either gone extremely downhill in my year and half of non exposure, or I am just seeing things from a new perspective. Here we go, dating philosophy by Andrea...
So being that I have a lot of male friends, grew up with a brother and no sisters, and have a mind constantly in the gutter, I get a lot of uncensored male insight. Between writing about relationships, co-hosting a show about it, and living my own life, I have come to notice many things. Us opposing genders are in a constant battle of understanding each other and our often bizarre behaviors and so we complain. Yes, as females we have an entire section in the Chapters bookstore dedicated to our frustrations with techniques on how to work through them but the fellas are not so perfect either. In fact, most at this age complain a total contradiction to their actions. You know the rant: "I just want a good woman with a great head on her shoulders. I want a woman who is independent. I want a woman who can take care of herself, a lady in the living room and a whore in the bedroom, a woman who has strong family values, is good-looking but doesn't overdo it" and the list goes on. Yet in simple observation in a barn full of potential and many of these women they claim to long for, these so called "real woman" seeking men seem to dive in head first into an open set of legs instead. It's like dangling a sirloin steak in front of a hungry man and he starts walking towards it but then a stale hot dog falls from the sky and he goes for that instead because it's closer and easier to get. He forgets that he wanted the steak, he just knows that he's hungry and wants meat and so he settles for the closest and easiest meat he can get. And that's men in a nutshell these days. No regard for anything but satisfying their own immediate appetite. Then the girl gets boring, or goes crazy, or becomes the nagging woman he never wanted, and then he proclaims his original statement of wanting a real woman and history repeats. This is why I am off the market. I'm not interested in competing with a hot-dog. I choose myself over that situation any day. You make the bed you lay in, so either deal with the choices you have made, or stop choosing wrong.
Single? No, I am just in a relationship with freedom. And that means I will tell it like it is. When I'm ready, I'll feel it but I'm just not there yet. There you go; raw emotion.
Ciao
xo
A
Thursday, May 17, 2012
Corners
Once upon a time there was a group of girls who came from different places and all ended up in the same neighbourhood. After years of friendship, and the evolution of their own personal lives, they again started to separate into different corners of their choosing however the magic had already been made, they had found each other. Despite the fact that they had netted their social foundations with each other, they still branched out and expanded their horizons and the people with whom they have not known as long, and thus networking and stepping out of the comfort zone starts.
Sound familiar? It's not the same story for everyone. A few weeks ago one of my original foundation makers who moved her life to another province and had a baby with her fiancee was in town and making arrangements to see everyone, and being the social butterfly that she is, this meant large group dinners so she could make a point to see everyone in the short time she had. She is my high school friend, as well as treasured soccer mate and so I was around some of the people I also went to high school with, many of which I lost touch with long ago. One guy in particular really got me thinking. In catch up conversation, he told me he still talks to all the same people he went to high school with and no one else and not only that, but he even bought the house he grew up in and explained he didn't want to live anywhere else. This is a concept I have a hard time grasping but it is heartwarming at the same time. Imagine a life in which you never expanded your horizons. You can only travel so many places in life, but if you constantly return to same old, at what point do you come unglued? I couldn't do it.
Part of my take on life is the beauty of differences. When people posses unique qualities, or qualities I am unfamiliar with because it is outside of my usual setting, I am easily intrigued. My girlfriends are much the same as I am. We all enjoy variety and as such, have all developed our lives in such a way that yes, we have each other, but we don't rule out the people who haven't been there to watch us grow through the years. We welcome them openly and make new memories and start new journeys. I don't think my life could get tied up that simply; keeping the same people since elementary and high school only in my life and those people only? No way; my story won't end that way and that's just me. I like fresh, and I like different among my world of sames. And so a group of women connected by the fates of our families choices branch off to their own corners ranging from Delta/Surrey, Coquitlam, Vancouver, Cloverdale, Calgary, California, Langley and now an original Vancouverite is about to embark on her new life in Burnaby Heights. There's a reason people come together, but there's always more that's waiting to come together as well. Live outside the box.
This is a journey that is going to change my life. Can't wait for my new corner :)
xo
A
Sound familiar? It's not the same story for everyone. A few weeks ago one of my original foundation makers who moved her life to another province and had a baby with her fiancee was in town and making arrangements to see everyone, and being the social butterfly that she is, this meant large group dinners so she could make a point to see everyone in the short time she had. She is my high school friend, as well as treasured soccer mate and so I was around some of the people I also went to high school with, many of which I lost touch with long ago. One guy in particular really got me thinking. In catch up conversation, he told me he still talks to all the same people he went to high school with and no one else and not only that, but he even bought the house he grew up in and explained he didn't want to live anywhere else. This is a concept I have a hard time grasping but it is heartwarming at the same time. Imagine a life in which you never expanded your horizons. You can only travel so many places in life, but if you constantly return to same old, at what point do you come unglued? I couldn't do it.
Part of my take on life is the beauty of differences. When people posses unique qualities, or qualities I am unfamiliar with because it is outside of my usual setting, I am easily intrigued. My girlfriends are much the same as I am. We all enjoy variety and as such, have all developed our lives in such a way that yes, we have each other, but we don't rule out the people who haven't been there to watch us grow through the years. We welcome them openly and make new memories and start new journeys. I don't think my life could get tied up that simply; keeping the same people since elementary and high school only in my life and those people only? No way; my story won't end that way and that's just me. I like fresh, and I like different among my world of sames. And so a group of women connected by the fates of our families choices branch off to their own corners ranging from Delta/Surrey, Coquitlam, Vancouver, Cloverdale, Calgary, California, Langley and now an original Vancouverite is about to embark on her new life in Burnaby Heights. There's a reason people come together, but there's always more that's waiting to come together as well. Live outside the box.
This is a journey that is going to change my life. Can't wait for my new corner :)
xo
A
Tuesday, May 15, 2012
Short but oh so sweet!
Anticipation can be a killer. You work towards a goal, you set your mind to it, you mentally block all other obstacles along the way and BAM before you know it you've looked at a dozen apartments, found "the one" and are preparing to sign the lease. This is my reality, and a damn happy one at that. Life happens exactly as it should. Don't ever doubt that.
So who likes pool parties?
:D
xo
A
So who likes pool parties?
:D
xo
A
Sunday, May 13, 2012
Resilience
Every second Sunday as most of you regular readers will know, I volunteer my time to a children's hospice. It's been two and a half amazing years with this wonderful organization, countless gala's, events and a great eye opener to view the true meaning and value of time and love. I've shed many tears here and the little ones always captivate me with their bravery and mostly, their resilience to the reality that their time is limited, and instead of wasting it away and being depressed, they embrace the days they have. Kids are truly amazing, and it's funny that the older we get, the more we complicate things while the children among us are the most pure and simplistic thinkers making statements that are so bang on, you would think a famous philosopher uttered them first when it was actually the logical thoughts of a five year old.
Why do we complicate everything the older we get? If life is so short, then why do we waste it doing things we don't want to do or aiming for things and creating complicated strategies to obtain the things that should be addressed so simply? I want you. I love you. I miss you. I am sorry. I don't like you. I don't like this. I want to go ______ etc. These are statements that become so freaking hard to make the older we get and the more exposure we get to negativity or negative experiences or fear how the person we want to say these things to will react. At what point did you stray so far from the person you truly are in favor of keeping everyone else happy and in efforts to not offend someone while risking your own sanity in the process? I'm afraid to tell people sometimes that I hate onions because sometimes people look at me like I'm stark ass crazy and I feel awkward after. Sad but true. Now I could care less. People will not agree with your personal choices, but the important thing is to remain true to you and if you don't like something or you love something or someone, don't be afraid to voice it with firmness. I don't like onions. Period.
People say that they learn things about themselves everyday but are you learning about yourself truly, or are you simply allowing the influences around you make you think you are learning about you? Think about it... are you learning about yourself or about what your partner wants, what your family wants, what your friends want and need or is it purely YOU? In your most solitude moments, such as in the shower -where well all make our important life decisions ha ha- or on the morning commute or when you are freshly awake lying in your bed isn't it true that we are always factoring the need to satisfy someone else into our plans for the future? Of course it's good to be a warm and kind hearted person, I am a big softie and always want to make everyone I care about happy BUT sometimes we do this far too much and forget about what we truly feel inside ourselves. So the next time you say to someone "I learn more and more about myself everyday" think about it, do you REALLY, or do you learn more about what you do for everyone else? Why complicate things so much? Ask a child what they would do if they loved someone, or what they would say if they wanted something in life. Seriously try it, the answer you get will be so simple and so logical it will blow your freaking mind. Even if we are adults, we are not the sharpest knives in the drawer at times, and we make life much more complex than it needs to be.
Grow some balls and admit it once and fore all to the person who needs to hear it. Seriously. You know what I am talking about.
Ciao
xo
A
Friday, May 11, 2012
Learning the hard way
They say mistakes made are lessons learned... and sadly we live in a world where we need to truly fuck up to really make the changes we need to. It isn't until something completely devastating happens that we actually perk up our attitudes to make big changes and seek a new way of living day to day. This is simply the reality of human nature. As uncomfortable as it is to go through those awkward periods where you suffer from your mistakes, trust in the end that it will be worth it and valuable to your overall purpose. As bad as things may seem through the darkness of your mistakes, it will change your outlook and your movements forward, and that's exactly what it was supposed to do. Chin up buttercup, I got your back... you know who you are.
And as far as change goes, whether you made a mistake or not, it's never too late to change something. Never. I have put dance on hold for the time being until I complete my move to Burnaby Heights next month. The two hour layover sipping Starbucks Java's and puttering around doing research and writing on my laptop is not as enticing with the summer weather peeking its gold flecked cheeks out at us. And so in an effort to de-anger myself and let out all of this pent up rage, I am officially dedicating the bulk of my Friday nights this summer to the corporate soccer team at work. What I need now is not to sway my hips sensually from side to side -even though my new moves will make someone a lucky man some day when I'm finally ready- but what I truly need is to kick a fucking synthetic leather ball and run like I don't give a shit about anything else but the fresh cut grass, and the sound of the ball cascading across the mesh netting of the opponents net. Seventeen years this sport and I have always had the relationship that is always there for me. It's never too late to try something different, or return to original favorites.
Bring on the soccer rehab.
Ciao
A
And as far as change goes, whether you made a mistake or not, it's never too late to change something. Never. I have put dance on hold for the time being until I complete my move to Burnaby Heights next month. The two hour layover sipping Starbucks Java's and puttering around doing research and writing on my laptop is not as enticing with the summer weather peeking its gold flecked cheeks out at us. And so in an effort to de-anger myself and let out all of this pent up rage, I am officially dedicating the bulk of my Friday nights this summer to the corporate soccer team at work. What I need now is not to sway my hips sensually from side to side -even though my new moves will make someone a lucky man some day when I'm finally ready- but what I truly need is to kick a fucking synthetic leather ball and run like I don't give a shit about anything else but the fresh cut grass, and the sound of the ball cascading across the mesh netting of the opponents net. Seventeen years this sport and I have always had the relationship that is always there for me. It's never too late to try something different, or return to original favorites.
Bring on the soccer rehab.
Ciao
A
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)